The Christmas Bulb by Roy Klipping Chapters 1 -11

Chapter One

It was the evening of Thanksgiving.  I sat alone with just the sound of the wind blowing through the evergreens outside my window.  I guess it must have made me feel lonely because I started to think about the people in my life and I found myself thinking further back in time,  years ago.  I started thinking of my family and friends and wanted to thank God for all the precious times I have had in my life.  I remembered all my family members that are were longer here and wondered if they were at peace.  I remembered times at grandma and grandpa's home, maybe on a birthday or a special holiday and wondered where that feeling I had then had some how vanished in my own life. As I sat there I thought what I could do to bring back that wonderful time, even if in some little way.  Maybe, I could hold on to a childhood memory and keep it alive today. I thought about setting up the Christmas tree and maybe doing some decorating.  As the night went on I decided to take out all the ornaments and the tree and placed them on the floor of the living room. At the time, it looked like too much to start that night so I decided to go to bed and figured I would set it up in the morning.  I snuggled under the covers,  pulled my favorite pillow close and drifted away. I couldn't have been sleeping more than what felt like a few minutes when I heard a noise coming from the kitchen area. As I sat up in bed I listened again, and this time I heard what sounded like voices. At that point I felt a lump in my throat and a million," What was that?" went through my head. I got out of bed and slowly opened up the door to my bedroom. My HEART just about blew out of my chest. My kitchen and living room were packed full of people and as I started walking through these people I started to notice something very strange;  so strange that I really didn't know if I wanted to keep looking.  I could feel sweat running down my face and at one point I put my hands over my eyes and hoped that when I took them down what I was seeing and hearing would be gone and this would only be a dream.  As I slid my hands slowly down my face I couldn't believe who was in front of me.  All my cousins, uncles, aunties and grandpas and grandmas. The thing that was terrifying me was that they had all passed from this world.  I just stood there not knowing what to say.  

Chapter Two

The room silenced and I could feel everyone staring at me. When I had first walked out of my bedroom I had thought maybe one of my friends had maybe thrown a after bar party, but now I was wishing I hadn't walked out there at all. Several minutes passed and I heard a elderly man clear his voice. I turned toward where the sound came from and there sitting in a chair not five feet from me was a older man. I remember that exact second because his eyes were so blue it was if I were looking at pure kindness. He leaned forward and then stood up and took a few small steps closer toward me. I started to lean back and could feel the weight of my body about to step away when he started to say something. His voice was soft but I understood every word he was saying. He asked me if I knew who he was.  Oh My God! Have you ever had one of those moments where your eyes felt like a shutter on a camera? Well, I just had one of those moments plus my heart rate was going up by the second. Again the room silenced after he asked me that question. Now it was my turn to clear my throat and as I looked around the room my eyes glued on every face as I looked toward the next. I felt a tear fall from my eyes, and then I looked back at the old man and I said, "You are my Grandpa."  My lips tightened and I had all I could do to hold back from breaking down and crying, but then he smiled and said,  "Yes, that is who I am."  For the next few minutes we just stared at each other, and to be honest I was scared to even ask why they were here. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I asked the question that was burning a hole in my brain ever since I realized what I had woken up to.  I  blurted it out, "AM I DEAD!!?

Chapter Three

After what seemed like a lifetime he said with a slight smile, “You're a long ways from dead."  I immediately asked him then, "How can this be real?  I mean it is impossible,  isn’t it ?"  He just shook his head and smiled and then started to explain to me what this was all about. He asked me if I remembered last night when I was sitting in my chair and started to say a prayer for all my family members that passed. I nodded still in disbelief to what I was seeing. I glanced around the room at all the people that were so much a part of my life.  He told me that on the eve of thanksgiving wishes can come true and mine was granted. I looked down with my eyes slightly puzzled, and then looked back up at him and said, "I didn’t ask for a wish for myself, I had only wished that all of you were at peace wherever that may be." Again he smiled and nodded, then stepped closer to me and reached out his hand.  God,  his hands are as I remembered, weathered but strong looking. A larger than life feeling came over me and for some reason I stepped toward him and gave him a hug. It was like a windy night that went calm in an instant.  I felt myself wanting to cry because I truly believed I was dead and maybe they were just trying to make it easier for me. I stepped back from him then asked him again, "Please tell me the truth. Have I passed away and is this just the steps that need to be taken?" Then I heard a small voice coming from the kitchen area. I looked over to see what looked like a older woman moving across the room toward me. The lighting didn’t seem to be that good for some reason and it was hard for me to make out clearly who it was or if I even knew who it was. As she got closer it seemed like my vision got worse. I shook my head back and forth trying to clear my eyes from the blurriness but nothing helped.  I had even taken a few steps backwards because I really didn’t know what was going on. Finally I heard her say,  "It’s ok you are safe with us." I was frustrated a little bit at this point and felt like something bad was about to happen. Again she told me not to worried.  I looked back over toward my grandpa and I could see him clear as day. He was facing the old woman and the way he was looking at her it made me feel like she was very important to whatever this was, at least I was assuming she was old,  according to her voice anyway. I looked back at her and she was still blurred from my vision. This was starting to really scare me now. Was she an angel and once she touched me would I vanish into nothing? Oh, my, God.  I could feel my body shaking like crazy, my hands trembled so hard that I felt like they weren’t even part of me.  She told me again not to worry and that they were only there to help me with something. I tried to look at her but my eyes couldn’t focus so I turned slightly away from her and asked her why she seemed so blurry to me when everyone else there I could see. "Are you an Angel?, I asked. Suddenly I could hear many whispers all around the room, it was as if asking her that wasn’t a good thing. Then the room silenced and the light in the room darkened until all I could see was the reflection of a silhouette of this woman in front of me, then it got darker and darker until there was nothing to be seen but her, and at that very moment I turned directly at her and she was as clear to me as the morning sun. My breath felt helpless, almost as if I wasn’t even breathing at all. I can’t describe into words what was in front of me because what I truly felt was whoever this was standing before me was invisible but could be felt from within me….
Chapter Four
This is really getting beyond where I can even think. The more I looked toward her the more I seem to be able to see, but not really. It  is so hard to put in to words but I remember blinking and it was if my eye lids were in slow motion and with every pass I could see my lashes as if they were bending from the movement of air as I blinked, it was if I had lost where or what I was even thinking of and suddenly I looked straight ahead and what I saw scared me beyond anything I could have even dreamed of. My breath, my heart, my movements were frozen because what was before my eyes, what I saw, was myself!!  I was so scared and in disbelief of what was happening. I closed my eyes but I could still see myself as if I were looking into a mirror! Then it hit me. That must be what this is. Maybe I am seeing my reflection. I reached toward what I had thought would be a plate of glass but it wasn’t. Oh my god! I could feel my face!! I stepped back, then tried to turn away but couldn’t. At this point I had no idea what was going on and why would I be able to see myself? Finally I just asked what is going on and why can I see myself, I mean this was too much for my mind to handle at this point and I wanted this to stop. Then I heard the voice of the old woman as if it were coming from inside of me. She told me that she is the keeper of stories untold and is part of every living being I have ever known. She explained to me again that everything will be ok and that I am in no danger.
What seemed like a life time passed, my mind jumping over and over through different reasons why this is happening. Again I felt I must be dead and this is the way things happen to get me to cross over to wherever it is I am going, I just wanted it all to end, then as quickly as the room had darkened it was light again and I was standing in front of the image that had somehow been inside of me, or at least I thought she was.  I looked around the room and not really knowing what else to expect, I watched the old woman start to move further away from me and seem to vanish before my eyes.  I looked over at my grandpa and asked him what was going to happen now. He told me that they had come because I needed them there.  He said you placed a dream that you had in a prayer, an untold story and that is why we came. Confused at what he was saying I asked him what does it mean when you say a untold story.  I said that the old lady said she was the keeper of untold stories. Does it have to do with her ? He nodded and said yes, she has granted you the prayer and has given you the chance to tell your story.  I shook my head  and my eyes closed so I could try and focus on what he could mean by this.  Once again I asked him what does that mean? He asked me to sit down. I did but with hesitation. I slowly lowered myself in my chair. He begin to point at all the boxes of Christmas decorations and my tree laying about the room.  He said remember last night when you closed your eyes and prayed for all of us? I nodded slowly but was still confused. I could feel sweat running down my face again almost like when I was a little kid and it was the moment I was about to get into trouble. He told me that in your prayer not once did you ask anything for yourself, you only wished everyone in your life past and present to be at peace, but in your inner most prayer a place where you don’t know exists, she heard without you even speaking a word, a silent prayer, and the keeper of untold stories gave that prayer to you..

Chapter Five

I just stood there looking at him bewildered. I guess as really what he was even talking about. I told him I still don’t know what all this is and why, or better yet how can I even be standing here amongst all my family that has passed away from this world? I mean how can I understand in my mind that this can even be? I guess all I am asking is what was the prayer I asked for and what does it have to do with everyone being here with me now? Then another voice spoke up.  It was a small woman, she couldn’t have been more than five feet tall. She moved closer toward me, she asked me if I were to think of one wish, one dream for myself, what would that wish be? She asked me to close my eyes for a moment and think about it. As I closed my eyes the woman kept speaking. She asked me to think of a time beyond any memory you have of your own, think of a distance that is so far from you that it is almost invisible from your thoughts. I was confused by her words but tried to think back.  I asked her if she meant from my childhood.  She said think further than your own life, think of the beginning of life and what that means to you and capture it in your thoughts. I sat there in silence for a few minutes and to be honest at first I wasn’t really thinking of anything, then I heard voices, but not from here, it was if I could hear something from behind a wall.  I started to search for it in my mind and though I was not moving I could hear my footsteps as they moved forward. I saw colors but they were nothing of the colors I have known, to describe to you what they looked like would almost be impossible, it was so beautiful here.  It was as if sunlight was shining through a drop of honey, and the hues of purples and pinks blended like nothing I have ever imagined, and as I kept walking, my footsteps seemed to fade into silence and even though I think the old woman was still talking I really wasn’t sure if at this point she was at all, but I knew I wanted to find something here. I thought maybe this is where my prayer was heard, or maybe this is really where this whole thing was supposed to go in the first place. God I was so scared inside but I felt safe at the same time. It was as if something had hold of me and was guiding me toward something beautiful. All I knew at this point, I mean all I could think of is I wanted to see what was beyond here. I still could hear something but it felt as if it was so far from my reach. I wanted to open my eyes and ask the old lady what this was but I also was afraid if I did I would lose what I might have the chance of seeing, and as I moved forward I finally found an opening I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go in but I couldn’t stop myself. It was as if I were falling through space, and as I entered this place it felt empty and cold, then I heard someone say this is a place where all your fears are hidden. I remember trying to say something but couldn’t. It was as if I were behind a plate of acoustic glass where I could see everything but hear nothing.  I was on the other side looking in on myself or my own thoughts. I tried to open my eyes because this was getting me nowhere in my mind, but then I begin to move again, and the darkness started to move from my thoughts and I came to another room. As I entered this place I felt tears falling from my eyes, though I had no thoughts.  I remember seeing a single rose, not placed on a table or in a vase or even planted in a pot or in the ground. The rose was being held by a small boy maybe around three years old, and as I came closer to him, he looked up at me. His eyes were as soft as a whisper. As I looked closer at him I started to notice something about him. I closed my eyes as if when I were to open them I would be able to make this go away, but it didn’t work and the more I stared at him the closer I seem to get to him. I couldn’t seem to stop moving closer and closer, then without a blink or a breath he was gone, it was if he had vanished. Then I noticed something aching in my hand and as I looked down, there in my hand was a rose that I thought the small boy had in his hand. As I looked closer I noticed my hand was bleeding and running down the stem of the rose. I tried to drop it but I couldn’t seem to let go of it, the blood was flowing faster down the stem of the rose and I begin to start to worry what was happening, Then I heard …

Chapter Six

a faint sound that sent chills down my back, and to be honest I’m not even sure what I was hearing but it scared me, it was like looking down a darken corridor and hearing footsteps walking closer and closer toward you, it gave me a feeling that something had happen here and even though I had no idea what it was I felt part of it, I had forgotten for an instant about the rose in my hand and when I looked back to see if I was still bleeding the rose was gone and there was no blood on my arm or hand at all, I knew this was a bad place here and it was just a matter of time that whatever happens next could be something that will terrify every part of me. Several minutes past maybe even hours because by this time I really didn’t even know if I was even here or where I was, suddenly I heard what sounded like the rustling of leaves maybe like when you walk across the yard in late fall, then I saw a soft glow of light and I moved toward it, as I got closer I noticed that there was a young man sitting at a desk, a small candle burning shined a amber tone across the darken wooden desktop and onto some papers scattered all over, there were several of the papers crumpled up some laying on the desk and some on the floor, I could see him writing something down and then stopping, it looked like he was crying, I stepped closer and then cleared my throat so he might hear me but he never showed that he even knew I was there, I moved closer now , so close that I could smell the ink from the bottle that was next to him, I looked down to see what he was writing but couldn’t make it out, I watched as his moments seemed to flow as softly as the candle that burned next to him, I remember thinking this felt beautiful here, but why? he was wearing a dark robe brownish in color his blonde hair was messed up as if he might have just gotten out of bed and came straight her to write his thoughts, I wanted to say something but knew that anything I would have said would be in silent’s, it seemed that in this place I was here only to see or hear things.
I stepped closer and leaned over the small desk, I had to know what he was writing, it was if the letters of the page started to speak, a voice from beyond the fibers of the paper read the words the young boy was writing, “ I am here only because you believe in me, and in this night when dreams are heard, will you be free of what is written here, and in pages of white turn blacken by words that can never be read, and in these pages you will find the untold stories of your dreams “, I remember looking down at the young boy, really not knowing what that meant or even if the things he was writing were the things I heard, again I looked down at the paper but this time, only darkness was found, again I am alone and waiting for something or nothing to find me,

Chapter Seven

I was really having a hard time with all of this and all I wanted to do is get out of there but had no idea how to. Moments later, as if a switch had turned on, I found myself standing in front of a mirror. Everything was dark but the area where the mirror was, it seemed there was light coming from within the mirror, the frame looked old and the mirror itself had a weathered look to it like looking through a spider web. All of a sudden  I heard a soft voice telling me to look into the mirror. I did, although it was hard to see my reflection because it was full of scratches and flaking. The voice then said to look closer into the mirror, to look past my own reflection and into the fibers of what was in the mirror. The voice went on to say a mirror holds reflections held from our past and can be seen if you can find a way to look past your own reflections. I stood there bewildered at I was hearing, and I guess at this point I didn’t really know what I was supposed to be looking for.
I looked at my reflection and although I hadn’t really noticed just how much time had passed in my life,  the young man I had thought I was seem to have slipped away from me. The more I looked into the mirror the more I begin to see images of my life as if I were watching a slide show. I saw a image of when I was alone sitting behind the back of our barn on the farm, maybe I was four or five years old, there were a couple straw bales around me and I was holding a white kitten. The images grew closer in my mind and I remembered that day, it was spring time and the sun was beating against the straw bales and it felt so warm. I sat down just to feel that cozy feeling. I remember hearing something scratching along the barn  when from between the bales and the barn came this little kitten. I remember she crawled up on my lap as if she trusted that I wouldn’t harm her. When I picked her up she nuzzled her little pink nose to my cheek and I could feel the coolness of it. I remember her purring softly, then  she nestled into my lap as we both fell asleep in the warmth of the sun. As I watched the little boy asleep holding the little kitten I couldn’t help but smile because even now I can remember that moment as if it were yesterday. As I kept looking into the mirror the images faded and it was if the mirror had depth to it now. It seemed like I was looking at layers of glass instead of only one, as I kept my eyes focused I could see streaks of what looked like the edge of the mirror were cracked and light was coming through, the more I stared the clearer that it became, and what was the edge of glass actually was

Chapter Eight

Like the edge of the page of a book, and the mirror that held the refection seemed to fade away as if you were to turn a page, and as it darkened the next reflection appeared, this time though there was no image to see, only light.  I could hear voices coming from behind this place, at first they sounded muffled then became clearer and clearer. I heard a man talking as if he were telling a story and the more I listened the more I could visualize what he was saying. His voice was somewhat shaky as he spoke and though each word he said seemed to bring me deeper into his story until I found myself actually part of his every word. He told of a man walking down a old road where the wind moved softly across blades of grass, he said it looked like waves on the ocean, he could smell the warmth of the sun as it filled the air and the sounds of the trees chattered a calming song. It felt so peaceful with each word he spoke. He said the man walked for hours until he came to a fork in the road, one way the man knew of what lay before him but the other was unknown and people had told him that road was filled with darkness and death. As the man stood silent something begged him to walk the road he was told not to go down, and although he was scared of what he might find he felt impelled to find out on his own. As the man walked he started to notice that the wind had slowed and that the once movements he so enjoyed as the grass swayed had stilled to a point that he felt a sadness surround him. He kept walking further wanting to find out where this leads to and why people told him not to travel here.  Soon he noticed the leaves that once gave him a calming song were not there at all, and all that was left there was the darkness of bark on the trees. He didn’t like how this place was feeling and thought about turning around. He even stopped and slightly looked back toward the road he knew would led him to a place that felt safe, but then with doubt in his mind turned back down toward the darkened road in front of him. In his mind he was afraid to turn his back on the evil that was felt before him because he thought if he would then what lay here would always be able to haunt him. Step by step he made his way further along and finally came to a large hill At the bottom of this hill he could see the road went into a tunnel. The road narrowed as he got closer to the tunnel and when he finally reached it he stood there just staring at what was in front of him, every part of him knew not to go into this place but again he was being pulled by something far stronger than his own will. He stepped forward and could hear everything around him come alive, the gravel sounded like it was being crushed by his every foot step forward, then as quickly as they came sounds of life seem to stop here. Even his heart beat didn’t have a voice, but still he walked forward into a darkness that surrounded him with such a chill it felt as though every bone in his body froze instantly. It was as if he couldn’t move, yet he knew he was still being pulled forward. The further he got into the tunnel the more he felt he wouldn’t be able to leave there. He could hear water beneath his feet as it got deeper and deeper. He tried to stop moving forward but couldn’t, ankle deep, then knee deep,  then waist deep and higher  until he could feel the water around his neck. He tried to swim but couldn’t and was being dragged beneath the water with his eyes wide open and screaming until everything went black.  Every emotion left of him was still, he could somehow still feel himself floating there and thinking back to the fork in the road and wondering why he made the choice he made to turn toward something he was warned about. Why didn’t he just take the road he knew would take him to safety, instead he was  in a place hidden from life, over and over he..

Chapter Nine

 was picturing the other road and why did he go there when so many told him not to. His eyes still bulging beneath this cold place, but then something happened. He could see light and it seemed to be getting brighter, he could feel his body moving closer toward it. Hours passed in his mind when finally he felt his body come to the surface, but yet he still could not move. He could feel the warmth of the sun and the breeze as it drifted across his body, he could hear the calming sound of the trees again, and  he remembered the grass swaying along the road which felt a life time ago. Without another thought he found himself standing at the fork of the road where he had been before. He reached up and wiped his eyes and then took a shaken breath. He didn’t understand what was going on or even if he was really there at all, so he just stood there at that same fork in the road thinking over and over about what had just happened. Even after all he had gone through or thought about, he still was thinking about going down that same road that so many had warned him about. In his mind maybe he hadn’t really gone down the road at all, and everything that he had thought was happening was only a dream.
As the man finished his story and the visions I had watched, whether it being in my mind or not, I had to ask the man what this was about.  The room had darkened as the old man told me, " That story was about your own fears in life." In my own mind I was at this same cross roads, he said. I had always pictured that going down the wrong road, even an unknown road would always come out the same in your mind. "You have seen darkness and even death there", he continued. The story brought you into the same place you always knew you would end up, except this time,  even though you thought there was no way out, you now know in your mind  that you can always come back to the same fork in the road. Though once traveled, even in the worse times there is always hope.", he finished saying. I thought of what the old man had just said and he was right. My life felt as if I was at that crossroad and I wanted so bad to take that step toward the unknown, but feared once doing so I wouldn't be able to come back. I remember how that moment made me feel and I knew that if I could get back to where I had started then maybe I could try the unknown road even if there was uncertainties.  I smiled and then looked up toward where the voice of the old man was coming from. What I saw was that same old mirror with the cracked and flaking edges. The reflection was that of a man that didn’t seem quite as old as the one I had seen before.  I placed my hand on the mirror and watched my hand touch touch the glass. I could feel the coolness of it and then it warmed almost instantly. I looked closer where I placed my hand and noticed in my reflection something strange. The reflection was not the same as my hand; it was as if there was a hand placed against the other side of the mirror.  I thought about pulling away, but felt as if the hand that was my reflection needed me as much as I needed it. I took my other hand and placed it on the mirror and as before it felt cool, but almost immediately it warmed.  I watched as my own reflection faded and the image of the hand appeared. I don’t know why, but I felt safe Whoever this image was must be part of me in some way. I remember closing my eyes and leaning forward as if I was going to give someone I cared about a hug. It was as if I could feel this persons arms around me.  I felt a warmth deep inside of me and even though I knew in my mind this was only a pane of glass,  I somehow felt loved. Then I felt something brush my face and as I opened my eyes the room filled with light. There hugging me was that old woman, the one that had asked me to think about that one wish or dream. As I looked over her shoulder I saw all my family members again. I knew that what I wanted most of all was to be loved and knew in my mind that they felt love back. Once we stopped hugging the old woman stepped away and pointed to the boxes of ornaments’ and decorations laying across my living room floor and said "We came to help you put up your tree", I smiled.  I looked around the room then said I would love that…

Chapter Ten

I had a artificial tree and started to open the box so we could do the painful task of figuring out which branches went where when I heard a knock at the door, I looked around the room in a panic because first of all if it was someone I know how would I explain all these people and secondly everyone here but yours truly has passed away, I didn’t move a muscle, maybe if I would just be quiet they just would go away, but no such luck, they knocked again and this time I saw the door knob move! And then the door swung open and there stood a burly old man, without hesitation he said who said something about a tree? I stepped forward and said excuse me? The old man laughed out loud and then said what’s wrong, you looked like I had saw a ghost, the room became quiet for a second then roared into laughter, then my grandpa looked at me and said not to worry because that was my great uncle from your mother’s side, the burly old man tuned back toward the outside and leaned over and started pulling a huge tree into my living room, he picked it up and carried it across the room and placed it in the corner where I was attempting to place the fake tree, then he put his hand on my shoulder and said there will be no fake Christmas tree this year.
Several minutes of adjusting later, we all stood back and looked at the tree, and to tell you the truth at that moment I wouldn’t have needed to decorate the tree at all, because everything about this evening was more than I could ever hope for, but soon everyone started digging into the boxes and placing things on the tree, strings of lights found their way around the tree and up the branches, after placing pretty much everything I had on the tree, a woman walked up to the tree, she was caring a small ornament one I hadn’t recognized as one of mine, she turned toward me and said that she would like to place this on your tree so in some small way she could be part of Christmas with me, I smiled and said that would be wonderful, and as she turned to walk away there was another family member walking up to the tree and asked me the same thing, person after person made their way to the tree that night and gently place a small ornament in a place they had found as their own, after many had made their way, I started to notice the room had become empty, I asked grandpa where everyone had gone? He walked to the tree and placed his ornament carefully then turned toward me and said it was time for them to go and if I ever felt alone again, just take out one of our gifts we have placed on your tree and we will be there for you, then he turned and just vanished, I looked around the room and noticed that there was one older woman slowly making her way toward the tree, it was my grandma, as she placed her ornament on the tree she bent down and took something from under the tree and then walked toward me, she was caring a small box with a silver bow tied securely around it, after a slit pause she handed me the box and asked me to open it, I look at her with tears in my eyes not knowing really what was about to happen, I guess I thought maybe this was something that would be what I feared from this night, then I carefully slipped off the bow and then opened the lid, inside was a small red Christamas bulb with a gold hanger and silver sparkles that surrounded it, and as I pulled it out I asked her what it was, she quietly told me that this was a bulb that has passed down through generations, it holds the memories of all that have held it, she told me that the prayers you have wished for are held inside its glass walls, she stepped back told me to hang the bulb on our family tree, I was shaking so bad because of everything that had happen, but took the bulb and placed it on a lone branch and as I took my hand away, I watched the bulb swing back and forth and then come to rest but only for a second, in horror I watched as the hook of the bulb somehow slipped from the branch and began tumbling down the branches of the tree I could hear every sound as if it was being amplified by a loud speaker, it was if I were watching this all in slow motion but yet I couldn’t do anything but watch, I could hear every fiber of the bulb as it...

Chapter 11 

... collapsed to the floor, my heart, my breath even my thoughts seem to have stopped at that very second, everything seemed to be in slow motion. I could see dust particles of glass as they came to rest on the floor beneath the tree, and every sound impaled my eardrums as though I were inside a drum. I knelt down immediately and started picking up the small pieces of the bulb, placing it in my hand. I couldn’t believe what had just happened and I hated the thought of turning toward her in fear of what she would say. I had a lump in my throat so big I couldn’t even swallow. As I reached for one of the larger pieces I ended up cutting my hand on the sharp edge. I stood up and turned toward her thinking that she must think so poorly of me but when I turned and looked at her she was smiling. Not really knowing what to say I just stood there waiting, I guess for her to say something. Finally she reached out and took my hand and asked me if I was ok. With tears falling from my eyes I told her that I was so sorry for breaking the bulb. She smiled again and said it was ok.  I shook my head then said again I was so sorry and that I knew that bulb was so special to her with so many memories. Again she smiled with the kindest eyes and said that the memories she had are still with her and have been passed on to me, and that it  wasn’t the bulb that kept the memories alive, that they are held in our hearts and minds. She pulled me close and gave me a huge hug and then whispered to me, "One day you will get a new bulb and even though this one has broken every memory can be given to your new one."  I closed my eyes and tried to take in every word she was saying, I even pictured a time in my future where all this would be true. Then she brought me into the kitchen and ran my hand under the faucet, the cold water stung a little at first but  soon it felt better. She took a small band aid from the cabinet and secured it softly to my hand and then gave me another hug. The feeling I had was like nothing I had ever felt, then it was if someone snapped their fingers and I opened my eyes and she was gone.
I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes thinking that it was sad they were all gone.  I looked over at the tree gleaming with lights and realized they weren’t gone at all because on every branch hung a memory that I could always cherish.  I looked down at my hand, the one that held the pieces of the broken bulb. I thought of all that this must have meant to her and even though it had been broken,  in her mind she knew that was where the real memories lie. I stood there again just smiling and thinking of what an amazing night this was, then I took the pieces of the bulb and sprinkled them into the garbage.  I walked back over to the tree and looked at all the ornaments thinking of each and everyone that placed them there. I was getting quite tired now so decided I better try and get some sleep.  I made my way to my bed and laid down, pulled my pillow in close and snuggled softly deep into the warmth of my covers.
The next thing I knew I was opening my eyes to a half lit room.  I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stretched a nice long stretch, then got up and made my way to the bathroom. As I was brushing my teeth I started to remember bits and pieces of what happened last night and the more I thought about it the more excited I became.  I remembered the tree and the ornaments and couldn’t wait to go look at them again.  I quickly finished my morning routine and made my way through the kitchen and walked into the living room, but there was something wrong. On the floor were all the boxes of Christmas decorations and the artificial tree still packed away. I just stood there in disbelief. Had everything that happened been a dream? I felt so sad and almost mad that this wasn’t real. My heart felt an emptiness again and I thought how cruel of a dream it was. I kicked one of the boxes across the room then walked over to my chair and sat down. As I looked around the room I could almost see everyone as they had been last night, then I felt something hurting a little on my hand. I looked down and saw a small band aid stuck to my hand.  I almost passed out.  I reached over and slowly pulled it off and sure enough there was the cut I had gotten from the broken bulb. I sat there in my chair crying my eyes out but laughing in the same breath.  I remember looking again at the boxes that were laying all over my living room thinking how could this be.  I noticed the box that I had kicked across the room. It had tipped over and some of the ornaments had spilled out. I got up and walked over to the box and knelt beside it and as I tipped it upright and started to put the things back in the box my eyes instantly became glued onto something. It was a small box wrapped with a silver bow. My heart began to pound and my breath raced as I picked it up,  my hands trembling.  Could this be what I thought it was? I stood up and went and sat in my chair. I lightly shook the box but couldn’t hear anything. I just sat there staring at this little box, then slowly pulled the small bow and slipped it off the edge. I opened the box and looked inside.  Have you ever felt a miracle? Well I found mine, because there in that little box was a small red Christmas bulb with a gold hanger and silver sparkles. I couldn’t hold the tears from falling at that moment.  I carefully took the bulb out and held it. I noticed a piece of paper at the bottom of the box so I reached in and took it out. There was some writing on it but the lettering was so small I couldn’t read it. I had my glasses on the table next to me so I placed the bulb back in the box and reached over and picked up my glasses, placed them over my eyes and then read what the note said.  It said “ Now you have your own bulb and the memories held here are forever yours”. I will tell you this, when I read those words every goose bump, every chill, every missed heart beat was felt, and at that moment I knew what I had experienced, whether it be a dream or real, I knew at that point I would be ok…